Sleep, Baby, Sleep – Part Two
We tackled sleep training for our son around 5 months old and had tremendous success, so I’m sharing some of our sleep training tips here to help you get started. If you want to read about how we tackled getting Jackson to sleep through the night, click here for that post. This post is all about nap time!
We recently decided to nap train our son, Jackson, and I’m pretty adamant that it was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. It’s totally changed the way we do things around here, and we’re all sleeping better as a result. So, let’s talk!
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Sleep Training Tips: Tips for Naps
First I want to talk a little about why we chose to nap train, because I think it’s important to carefully consider what you’re doing with naps. Since about 6 weeks, Jackson has (had!) refused to nap in his crib at all. He’d sleep on me or Corey, he’d sleep in the Moby (which, by the way, is the best invention ever), and he’d sleep in a bouncer or swing at daycare (but never at home), he just wouldn’t sleep in the crib. We tried a lot of different things, but when I went back to work at 7 weeks it just wasn’t a priority. I hated being away from him all day long, so when we got home I was happy to let him snuggle up with me. And on the weekends, I felt like I needed to catch up on time spent with him, so it was no problem to spend half my day chained to the couch while he slept.
This worked for us for a couple of months, but towards the end of the school year, I got really tired of it. I loved the cuddles, don’t get me wrong, but it was reaching a point where I had zero time that wasn’t being taken up by Jackson in some way, and Corey couldn’t ever get him to sleep as easily as I could so nap duty generally fell to me. I kept telling Corey we needed to do something about it, and we tried a few times, but he would just scream in the crib and I didn’t have the heart to let him cry (plus he was still so young, he definitely wasn’t ready to cry it out).
Corey and I kept agreeing that we would wait until school got out to tackle the issue, because we were afraid that if we pushed the crib naps he wouldn’t sleep as well, which would affect night time sleep, which would affect our ability to function at work each day. Plus, if I sat down on the couch with him he would almost immediately snuggle up into me and fall asleep, so we didn’t want to mess with such an easy way to get him to nap.
One day, a couple of weeks before school got out, I was frustrated with being stuck on the couch with him, and he was about 4 months old (which some people say is a good time to start sleep training), so we decided to try and let him cry. It was a disaster. We lasted about 30 minutes (with frequent checks) before we decided it just wasn’t for us, ran in, and grabbed him. He immediately fell asleep in my arms, and was clearly upset. We both agreed we were never doing that again.
And then…
The weekend after school got out, Jackson’s naps went to hell. He suddenly wouldn’t sleep at all in my arms. I’d settle in on the couch like we had always done, and he would start arching his back and screaming. If I tried to rock him (which he usually loved), he would try to push his body as far away from mine as possible, crying the whole time. The only time he was calm? If I plopped him down in the crib.
The only problem was, he still couldn’t fall asleep very well in the crib. If we stayed in the room with him he was okay, but he just wanted to talk to us and give us smiles. But if we left, he cried. We tried the swing (nope), the bouncer (no way) and the Moby (fell asleep while Corey was walking outside with him, woke up as soon as they walked back in the door). One day that weekend he spent 7 hours with no more than a 15-minute catnap because we just could not figure out what to do.
At this point, we knew we had to revisit sleep training. He was giving us very clear cues that he was ready to nap in the crib, he just needed some help figuring out how to fall asleep. He was also showing us that if we were in the room, he couldn’t sleep because we were too distracting – and he was starting to fuss a bit before falling asleep no matter what, which gave us the idea that maybe he was a tension releaser, not a tension increaser like we originally thought.
So, after lots of thought and talking it over, we decided to re-visit crying it out. We gave ourselves one week and said we would stick to it for that long, but if it wasn’t improving we would ditch it and go for something else. I took notes on my phone and even made a graph (because I’m a data nerd!) of how his naps went over the course of the week, and we were pretty shocked at the results.
Our nap routine is as follows:
- As soon as he starts to slow down/act tired (which was an hour and a half or so after his last nap when we first started, but is quickly moving towards two hours) we head upstairs. I close his blackout blinds and turn on his music.
- I change his diaper if it needs to be changed and put him in his sleep sack (we’ve officially transitioned over to this instead of the swaddle for all sleeping, and we’re loving it!). We do this on the changing table and a use the same little phrases and games that Corey always uses with him at night. I think this helps him know it’s time to sleep, and it always gets a giggle out of him, which I can’t resist.
- I pick him up snuggle him for as long as he lets me. Usually this isn’t more than 10-15 seconds, then he starts arching his back and fussing until I lay him in the crib.
- I lay him down and sit down next to the crib. Then, (and you’ll laugh at me for this one…) I read him a few pages of Harry Potter. Sounds crazy, but it works. We realized early on that for naps he’s soothed by us talking to him or reading to him, but if we read one of his books he’s too stimulated by the pictures or the poetic rhythm. I grabbed Harry Potter one day when I knew he wanted to hear my voice but I didn’t have anything to say, and I read out loud to him for a while. It worked like a charm. So now, instead of a nap time book we read a few pages from Harry Potter.
- After I read, I give him a kiss, tell him I love him, and leave.
Once I leave, we’re basically doing a modified Ferber-style approach – when (if) he starts crying, I check the time and I go peek in on him after about 5 minutes. I give him his pacifier back if necessary, pat him a few times, and kiss his forehead before leaving again. We’re not super consistent with the check-in times. Sometimes I’ll do a few 5-minute increments before going to 7 minutes, then 10, sometimes if he’s just fussing I go straight to 10-minute increments. It all depends on how hard he’s crying and if I think he’s about to fall asleep, but at this point, he really only fusses if he loses the pacifier in the first few minutes, so I’ll pop it back in and he goes right to sleep.
How did nap training work for us?
Okay, let’s get to the fun part – the data. When we first started nap training I couldn’t get enough information on how this had worked for other people, so I’ll give a rundown of how things went for our first week. We were pretty surprised at how quickly it worked, which to us just confirmed that, as we suspected, Jackson was ready for this!
As of now (a little over two weeks in), he’s crying no more than 5 minutes when I put him down, and the vast majority of the time he doesn’t cry at all.
The interesting part is that the nap length varied quite a bit for the first week, but by the second week (last week) naps were getting consistently longer and longer, and now it’s looking like he’s getting ready to consolidate down into three long naps a day. We’ll see what happens!
But, what was most interesting to me was the night sleep. Right before we started this we were having some really rough nights, so I took notes on how things looked once we were nap training. Here’s how it went down:
Night before we started:
– Was so tired we put him to bed at 6:00, much earlier than usual.
– Woke up three times for his pacifier between 6:00 and 10:00
– Up at 2:30 screaming. Obviously hungry, I was in there feeding him until about 3:30.
– Up again a few minutes after I got in bed. Corey spent about an hour in his room with him before he went back to sleep.
– Up for the day at 6:30.
Night One:
– Down at 7:30ish
– Woke up for pacifier three times between 9:45 and 11:30. One was my fault – was fussing in his sleep and I accidentally woke him up.
– Up for the day at 5:30.
Night Two:
– Down at 7:30
– Woke up for pacifier at 1:30 and 5:10.
– Up for the day at 5:30.
Night Three:
– Down at 6:45
– Up at 7:30 because he rolled into the side of his crib. Went right back to sleep after I moved him and gave back pacifier.
– Up for the day at 5:15.
You get the idea – nap training very quickly fixed the issues we were having with night sleep, and things are still going strong. I think he’s in a transitional time with sleep right now because it looks a little different every night, but now he’s going down between 6:30 and 7:00 every night, waking no more than 2 times throughout the night for his pacifier (and going straight back to sleep, so it takes us under a minute to actually deal with), and then getting up around 5, then eating and going straight back to sleep until 7 or so. A few times he’s slept straight through for the whole 12 hours, so I’m hoping that becomes the norm!
Long story short? We nap trained, it was a fantastic decision, I have my life back, and everyone is happy. Until the next sleep regression hits us, but let’s not think about that yet.
Anyone else want to chat baby sleep? How are things going in your house? If you don’t have a baby and are sleeping all night every night, tell me about that too…I want to live vicariously through you!
Thank you for this! Our daughter is 7 months and sleeps great at night with usually only 1 nighttime feeding and back to sleep, but recently started napping less during the day. She’ll sleep 8-10 hours at night and up around 9am but then hasnt been napping until 2-4pm and only for 30 minutes. I work from home and have her with me all day so I’m struggling to balance everything with less naps and I feel its important to nap train now so she’s able to learn this much needed skill!
Did you give him paci when you put him down or when he started fussing?
Hi Maya! We always gave him a pacifier when we put him down, and then when we came in for checks we would give it back to him if necessary. Pretty quickly, he stopped crying when going down for a nap, so we reached a point where we didn’t need to give it back to him at all.
Our son is five months old and I’m going to give this a try because he is sleeping horribly at night. We’re trying to get him to sleep (mostly) through at least. We didn’t have this problem with our daughter (which is four yrs old now) so this is new for us. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your techniques! Wish us luck!!
Good luck! That’s the age we started this, and it worked well for us!
I’m having issues with naps. We are doing a modified ferber emjid eith ur three month old and he’s been going down fairly quickly. But he wakes up from his naps within 20 minutes and won’t go back to sleep. We try Ferber for about 20 minutes after he wakes but usually we end up getting him up. Any advice?
Hi Melinda! Unfortunately, 3 months old is a bit too young to be stressing too terribly much about nap schedules and sleep training. Around 4 months, infants go through a sleep regression and that’s when they begin to learn to sleep for longer periods of time. I wouldn’t recommend really trying any sleep training methods until at least 5 or 6 months.
I am just thrilled by Urban’s guide about teaching a baby to fall asleep alone! It just WORKS!
I do like this blog! Keep it up 🙂
Thank you!
It’s first time that I’m posting something in the internet but I just thought that my words can help somebody. So I also used the ‘how to teach a baby to fall asleep alone’ and I think it must be the best guide about sleep training. The main reason why is that the guide gave me really nice and clear instructions how to use the HWL method that simply works. I regret that I didn’t know about this guide with my first child.
worked like a charm for getting us all more sleep! Great tips for getting baby to sleep since day one. It has really helped with better understanding my little one. Highly recommend!
So glad it was helpful!
I sleep trained ( naps, falling asleep alone and reducing night feedings) my 3 kids with “How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone” by Susan Urban ( http://www.parental-love.com ). She knows exactly what to do and WHEN! The two parts of the book are suitable for parents with children aged from 0 to 3 months and from 3 months onwards. When my baby turns 3 months I’ve changed the way I put my baby to sleep. The author says exactly what to do with babies to make them sleep better since they were born.
Definitely must read for all parents!
I’ll definitely have to look into that! Thanks for the recommendation!
I have foloowed this guide and I wanted to give you some feedback 🙂 So the guide is great – short with clear instructions and what is the most important it has worked for my daughter! Nice 🙂
So glad to hear it was helpful, Cory!
Thanks for the recommendation, the guide has helped us as well 🙂
I’m so glad it helps!
Hey! Thank you for the information you posted! I currently have a 5.2 month old who has never slept through the night and since 3 months barely naps. Right now he naps every 2 hours for only 30 min. He cries before falling asleep I have to rock him( he was not doing this at the beginning of 4 months!) he only sleeps a total of 2 hours a day! Goes to bed at around 8:30 up at 12:30 screaming idk if it’s for milk! I try not to carry him I would give him 2 ounces of milk goes back to sleep wakes at 3:30 screams again than again at 5 and 7! To go to sleep we have a routine and he is put down awake in his crib and no problem he goes to sleep after a few toss and turns! But after he wakes at 12:30 he doesn’t seem to be able to fall asleep! I want to start sleep training him with his naps and than try the night because I have tried the night for weeks and nothing! What do you recommend for the naps!? I have tried to put him down but he can last up to 30 min crying and nothing untill I pick him up! And after he sleeps the 30 min how can I help him sleep atleast his 1 hour to 90 min!! I’m seriously thinking of seeing if their is a specialist 6 ml this and I haven’t slept since he was born 😩
Hi Karina – that sounds rough! One key for us was to really start watching closely for the “sleepy cues” – things like yawning, slowing down, etc. Each kid will have different cues, but for the first few days of nap training I watched him like a hawk and the second he began to start showing the signs of being sleepy we would start the naptime routine. If he’s waking up after 30 minutes it sounds like he might be in the middle of a sleep regression (right around 4/5 months is when babies’ sleep patterns begin to change and it’s common for them to struggle to get to the REM cycle of sleep after the first 30 minutes) – you can try anticipating the wake-up and be in his room to try to soothe him back to sleep in the crib – sometimes that would work for us! Good luck!
Thank you for sharing! I enjoyed reading how your baby got the hang of sleep training. We are just starting this for my 3 month old. Question: my baby will go down for a nap but then wake up 30-40 minutes later. Would you continue letting him cry it out until naptime should be over or just get him up? Thanks for your input 🙂
Hey, Sarah! At that age, I’d probably give him 10-15 minutes to see if he’d fall back asleep, and if not I’d go ahead and get him. He’s right around the age of transitioning to longer sleep cycles, so this is totally normal. I’d probably let him cry for a few minutes, try to soothe back to sleep, and if nothing works after about 15 minutes I’d give up and try again later.
Hi! I am a new mom and my son is 6 weeks old. I’m struggling in all things involving putting him down. He pretty much hates all things that aren’t my arms. We have 3 different swings, a pack and play and a small cosleeper. He cries immediately when I put him in the swings, was sleeping in the cosleeper but not for more than a hour at a time at night, refuses the pack and play all together. I have been able to put him in is ctib but it’s hit or miss and never for more than an hour and a half to two hours. I know sleeping with him is dangerous at night and him sleeping on me during the day makes life pretty tough. I’ve started to try to be consistent at night – start with bath at 7 pm, short story, feed and then put him down. He doesn’t really like pacifiers so I’ve only been able to put him down sleep. He’s usually up within an hour 2 hours max. Naps are all over the place. I’m not sure where to start.
Hi, RJ! It can be hard to establish really good sleep habits when they’re that little. We didn’t even try to establish a good napping schedule until about 5 months. It sounds like you’re on the right track with having a good bedtime routine – we also worked to make sure he was eating every 3 hours during the day so that he wasn’t hungry at night.
If you think there’s a larger problem, it may be worth visiting with your pediatrician. Jackson actually had some pretty bad reflux issues, and it affected his sleep pretty significantly before we got him on medication. Good luck!
Great article. I have a baby almost turning five months (4 more days), and she has the hardest time with naps. She will not sleep in her bassinet or crib for a nap. She seems to sleep best in her swing. She can go hours sleeping in that. We would like to transition her to her crib soon, do you have any advice. She’s a baby that gains tension when crying.
We had similar problems at that age, and that’s why we decided to try sleep training. Have you given that a shot at all, yet?
How long would your little one cry before falling asleep in the beginning ?
One day one he cried for about 20 minutes, and it dropped pretty quickly after that!
Hi There. I’m a Mom to 8 month old twins and an energetic 3 year old. Naps in our house are prayed for and attempted daily. Sometimes they happen easily, other times it’s a losing battle and then bedtime is pushed up by hours only to make for disaster nights. You know…the endless circle. I am often alone all day and through bedtime routines. I go back and forth between the 3 kids bedrooms sometimes for an hour….someties closer to 2…trying to keep everyone calm and cozy in bed….
The babies are breast fed and my little man loves to fall asleep nursing. Putting him in the crib in a dead sleep sometimes he still wakes up. Other days he falls asleep happily gabbing. We tried the cry it out method at 6 months and made it to day 4 – they did great for 3 days and then they were back to hysterical unconsoloble crying so i said no way we cant do this. The problem almost as bad as letting them cry and hearing that…. even for small increments of time..is that there are 3 of them..trying to nap. They can all hear each other so running to shush one is always the “norm” as to not wake the other that just fell asleep.
Currently both babies are cutting teeth (3rd for my baby girl and 2nd for my boy) and they are getting over terrible colds and vaccinations. I feel like I am making excuses but when they are sick and can’t breathe letting them cry makes it worse and they take even LONGER to settle. So, we continue with separate rooms for all 3. My boy usually nursed to sleep but often will play himself to sleep with a little pat on the back and pacifier. My girl is an angel and usually puts herself to sleep without a peep, just a lullabye and little rock. I have bilateral carpal sprains that are worsening from trying to rock and pursuade them to sleep on bad days… desperate for a routine but it seems just when I get someone to sleep someone is waking up from a 45 minute nap. The struggle to get them to sleep is rewarded by such short nap times I don’t know what else to do… The babies both wake at night to feed…I’ve tried not feeding them and the screams get ridiculous. They are usually in bed between 7 & 730, up between 11 and 12 for a quick feeding and then again between 3 and 4 before they are up for the day at 630-8.
My 3 year old fights to go to her room…we do lunch, books, songs then sleep. But usually its 2 to 3 hours of her calling out needing things, bathroom … milk…toys…etc. and insisting she is not tired. Sounds like she is getting to old for naps but she is melting down by 5 pm making it hard to even make it through dinner and bedtime by 8.
All kids are usually up between 630 and 8 am daily.
Not sure if you can offer any advice in this unusual case.
Sleepless and tired Mommy…
Goodness, sounds like you have your hands full! So, I don’t know how much I can help as I was only dealing with one kiddo at a time, but here are my thoughts:
– Your three year old might be nearing the end of naptimes. Jackson is 3 now, and he skips naptime at least 2 days a week or so, and I have a feeling he’ll be done napping by the time he’s 4. The rule in our house, though, is that he has to go to his room during naptime (about 2 hours) and STAY THERE. He doesn’t have to sleep if he’s not tired, but he has to be in his room – he can play, read books, etc. His room usually ends up being a total mess on the days he doesn’t sleep, but he’s pretty good about staying in there. We make sure he has a bottle of water before we leave, and if he needs to use the restroom he can do that by himself. I keep the video monitor with me because I can talk to him through it, and for the entire duration of nap I will only talk to him via the monitor (won’t keep going in his room).
– For the twins, 8 months is a very common time for a sleep regression (you can read more about this specific one here). With sleep regressions, you really just have to soldier through as much as possible – the biggest thing is not to create bad habits that will be hard to get out of later. As hard as crying it out is, it may be worthwhile to try it one more time if you think it will be a good fit. White noise also works wonders for helping the other kiddos get some rest if one is wailing – we use an old iPod with some music in Jackson’s room to drown out any noise around the house.
I hope that helps a little!
Hi! My baby is 4.5 months and he sleeps great at night in his crib, I put him down around 7 awake he goes to sleep no crying and I dream feed around 11 and he sleeps until 5ish where he talks to himself for about 30 mins then goes to sleep until 7 when we wake up. Our issue is naps- he is the worlds shortest napper and I can’t figure it out he only sleeps 30-45mins. I’m trying to put him in a eat play sleep schedule but it’s hard because he doesn’t nap very long and I’m not sure what to do to get his naps longer. If your baby woke up early did you leave in crib the whole nap time or did you go get them when they woke and have different nap times each day? I’m so confused, I’m not sure which to work on first a consistent nap time schedule or trying to lengthen naps- and I’m not sure how to legthen naps plus since on only sleeps 30 mins in crib I either have to put him down frequently or hold him while he sleeps so he can get a full nap, or he just gets cranky. I can’t get anything done during the day I would love to have more than a 30 min window to get some stuff done. Plus he is EBF not sure if that makes a difference.
Great job on the nighttime sleeping! I think what you’re describing is pretty typical for the 4-month sleep regression. Typically, right around 4 months is when babies start to struggle to go back to sleep after the first sleep cycle (which lasts about 45 minutes) – their sleeping patterns being to look more like an adult’s, and the adjustment can be tough! It’s very typical for babies to have short & more frequent naps until around 6 or 7 months. I would just recommend having him on a general routine (not a schedule, since you can’t predict times well yet) and put him back down for a nap as soon as he shows tired signs, or around 2 hours after waking up.
My baby girl has a hard time napping in her crib. She will nap for about 25 min then wake up. It seems to me she can’t get comfortable. Now she will sleep great in her rock and play for a nap and sleep for about and hour and half but the crib part I can’t get down!
We definitely had the same issues until we nap trained at around 5 months – hang in there! 🙂
How did this work with going back to work and day care? My 9week old is sleeping ok at night and naps are sporadic- her 3 hour cycle usually includes a 30minute-1.5hr nap. She is a tension releaser… I’m about to start daycare in the New Year and worry what that new world will do to her night time sleep if she is in a room with other infants and isn’t being “put down” for a nap with her normal routine. Any tips?
I’m kind of a unique situation – I’m a teacher, so it worked out that we started nap/sleep training right at the beginning of summer. So, by the time I went back to work and Jackson went back to daycare, his sleeping habits were well-established. I will say, though, that Jackson has always transitioned pretty seamlessly to sleeping at school. We had a pretty strict routine for naptime at home, and he definitely didn’t at school – but he always slept! We didn’t do anything special, though – I think it’s one of those things you just have to get through and she’ll either do great or there will be an adjustment period.
My son is 8 months old today and for the past week he has been waking up more and more throughout the night. Prior to, he was sleeping well (enough for me) 830pm-445am and then just needed the pacifier and would go back to sleep until 630/7. Last night was the worst, I might have gotten 3 hours of sleep? He was screaming like never before whether in the crib or if I was holding him. I finally gave in at 5am and put an episode of paw patrol on and held him until he (we) fell asleep. I have never been so emotionally drained. He has been an absolute angel… I really can’t and shouldn’t complain. Everything has just come so naturally.. this sleep regression is the worst! Help!
Oh man! That sounds rough. 🙁 Sleep regressions are awful. I wish I had a better solution for you, but in our experience they’re just something you have to push through. We never had one last longer than about 2 weeks (I know that sounds like FOREVER right now). We also introduced a lovey to Jackson earlier than the recommended time – at around five months old he was using (affiliate link) these blankets from Aden + Anais and they were a LIFESAVER for us. Officially, you’re not supposed to have anything with them in bed until 1 year, but we felt comfortable with it once Jack was consistently rolling over and could pull a blanket off his face – plus, these are very breathable. He’s almost 3 now and still sleeps with one of these every night!
My baby is 5 months old and has not been sleeping at night…and he hasn’t taken naps unless in the car or right after he nursed but if I try to lay him down it’s the same thing like you little one. But now he wakes up every time I lay him down at night screaming. He doesn’t like being swaddled and hasn’t been for 2-3 months and was sleeping 6-7 hours without waking up. Do you think this method could help my little one? I would love a response if you don’t mind.
It definitely sounds like he might be ready to try to cry it out! There’s also a sleep regression that can happen between 4 and 5 months, and it’s usually a pretty tough one. Good luck!! 🙂
So when you went into to soothe him did he stop crying? In the past I have tried soothing without picking her up but she cries until she’s picked up.
Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. I feel like often going in there is more to comfort us as parents and reassure us that everything is okay. We just went in and patted him, let him know he was okay, and left. I know many people don’t go in at all, because sometimes it makes it worse.
My little girl is almost 6 months old and has been an awful napper since she was 8 weeks old and unfortunately doesn’t take a pacifier. She naps on me or my husband. She sleeps great at night though for 12 hours straight. I have tried cry it out once or twice and it left both me and her exhausted and crying, but naps on me is starting to make me crazy.
It’s so hard to find a balance isn’t it, Chelsea?! At 6 months old she’s at a good age to start learning some self-soothing strategies. I know it’s against official recommendations, but using a lovey in bed with Jackson really helped us with nap training. We used these from Aden + Anais because they’re small and breathable. He still sleeps with his nightly at almost 3 years old!
Where did feeding fit into that? How long did you let him cry the first time you did this?
We kept him on a normal schedule for feeding. If you read part one of the story, I talked a bit about how I made sure that during the day he was eating at least every 3 hours so that he was nice and full in the evenings. We let him cry no more than 5-10 minutes at a time before checking on him. The longest he ever cried in total was about 20 minutes, but it will definitely depend on the baby – some may cry longer!
Hi Amanda
Our LO Is 3.5 Months and I’m sure going through a sleep regression. We have always had problems with sleep as he too is a reflux baby. Once On the meds night time was much better and he would normally only wake once between 10pm and 7am to feed. Our Naps however have always been a problem. They are inconsistent, short, and must be In someone’s arms. I wasn’t complaining because his nights were ok until he hit 3 months. Naps are still the same and trying to get him in his crib is useless. Now his nights too are terrible. He wakes between 2-4 times a night to feed resulting in me caving and having him back in the bed because I’m so tired. Originally I thought he may be teething, my husband cut teeth st 2 months, but this has been going on for 2+ weeks. I’m now starting to think all of this is because his day Naps are terrible. Is it too early to try and train Naps?…….. Thanks for any help 🙂
I wouldn’t recommend trying to train for naps until at least 4 or 5 months old. I know it’s not super encouraging, but we did absolutely nothing to encourage nap training until 5 months old – then everything else fell into place. If I were you, I’d do whatever I needed to do in order to get him napping well during the day (even if it means no crib naps yet) and then worry about training in a couple of months when he’s a little older.
Our daughter is almost 8 months. She used to be a great sleeper. The last month had been terrible. She wakes up every 1-2hrs and refuses to go back to bed in her crib. We take turns holding her for a few hours so at least we each get some sleep, but it is wearing us out. She is teething, but this started before that. We thought it was night terrors, as she wakes up crying but her eyes aren’t open. Any thoughts? Thank you!
Sounds like a sleep regression – pretty typical at that age! Unfortunately, it’s one of those things you kind of just have to wait out. Try not to create or encourage any bad habits, but just do what you can to survive. There is lots of good info about sleep regressions here – http://www.babysleepsite.com/tag/8-month-sleep-regression/
Our LO is 5 months and we just sleep trained too. She is doing great at night, and for the occasional nap. We used the Ferber method for night. As far as naps, do you keep doing the checks for an hour, until he finally fell asleep, or a different amount of time? That is what we are struggling with right now.
Thanks!
Naps were harder than nighttime for us. We continually checked on him until he fell asleep – if it went much longer than an hour we probably would have stopped the nap, played for a bit, and then tried again. Luckily it worked pretty quickly!
I’m so confused. You said if your child intensifies while crying/CIO method isn’t for you but then you revisited it and used it afterall?
Hey, Sidney – you’re right, at first he did intensify when we tried it! That first attempt was terrible, but in the end we figured out he just wasn’t ready. We ran out of options later and were really struggling with sleep, so we decided to give it another shot. You can check out the article I linked in the post about tension-releasers versus tension-increasers, and that gives a better idea of why we felt like it was still a good fit for our family. 🙂 He’s almost 3 years old now and has great sleep habits, so it definitely worked for us!
Any tips for getting a 9 month old to sleep? He hates all forms of being put to sleep and at night time usually does the back arching and fussing. He does sleep in the crib but we have to put him to sleep first. He also wakes up anywhere from 2-6 times a night. Our problem is if we try to put him in the crib he will just stand up or crawl around but scream if we leave the room and he won’t calm down with the soother only once weve given up and will pick him up and still takes a while to calm down. 🙁
Hi Allison – a lot of it depends on what kind of approach you’re comfortable with. We did allow Jackson to cry a bit when we were sleep training, because that approach was a good fit for our family. We didn’t follow any strict approach, but we did try to leave him in his room for at least 5-10 minutes at a time before checking on him. When we’d go in for a check, we never picked him up – we’d maybe pat his back and we’d be very neutral and say “it’s time to sleep now, we love you, ‘night ‘night!” and leave. The biggest thing is to be consistent and don’t stray from whatever approach you decide on!
My baby is 3 months old and he doesn’t sleep at all 😫 Well he’s a premature baby he wakes up more than 3 time at night he would go sleep at 12 am and wake up at 3 or 4 around that time he doesn’t go back to sleep around 6 or 7 am algo he get colic and cry all night long …. I try to keep him up during the day but since he’s tired he just want to sleep during the day .. Last night it was the best night of all time he went to sleep at 9pm wakes up at 1 ate when back to sleep thank wake up at 4 am ate when back down at 6:30 but didn’t stay on his bed have to put it on my be and after that wakes up at 10:45 am ate and back to sleep 😫 I don’t get no sleep at all
Hey Celenny – I know this probably doesn’t help much right now, but it DOES get better! You will sleep again, I promise! The most important thing to remember in your case is that you have a premature baby, so when you’re looking at developmental milestones like sleep, you really need to think about his adjusted age, not necessarily his actual age. So, if he was a month early, his adjusted age would be two months old. If you feel like he’s maybe in some discomfort, I’d encourage you to talk to your doctor about the possibility of reflux. Jackson had some pretty serious reflux that would really get bad at night, and we didn’t really get into a good groove with sleeping until we got him on some reflux medication. Other than that, my main tips are to try to wake him up to eat every three hours (he doesn’t have to stay awake – he probably won’t at that age, but just make sure to wake him up and feed him), and start working on a consistent bedtime routine! Jack never slept in our bed but he slept exclusively in his Pack ‘n Play until 5 months old. So, just do what works for your family and gets the maximum sleep for everyone! 🙂 Hope that helps!
I have a two month old, when can I start more of a schedule and work on sleep training, in your opinion?!
Hi Kate! I wouldn’t recommend formally sleep training until at least 5 months. You really don’t need to worry too much about creating bad sleep habits before then – just get your sleep in wherever and however you can get it! The only thing I would recommend doing that young is to start working on a solid feeding schedule. For example, I never let Jackson go more than 3 hours during the day without eating, even if I had to wake him up to feed, which helped ensure he was nice and full at night and could start getting some longer stretches of sleep.
I am going to try this starting next week for my y daughter she sleeps all night if she is in my bed and napping is a nightmare. She doesn’t nap st all at Daycare so comes home exhausted sleeps till 7:30 ready to play and is up till 10 . Which is bad when we are up at 6:30
Baby sleep can be so tough, Kristine! Hope you get it all settled soon. 🙂
We’re expecting our first in December, and out of everything I’m most nervous about sleep, so I love reading your posts on it. I NEED my sleep now, and can’t imagine how I’ll be able to function without it. I know I’ll adapt, but still… I’m really not looking forward to it,.
And just wanted to chime in and say that’s it’s amazingly adorable that you’re reading Harry Potter to him. I wonder how far you’ll get before you guys stop doing it…
So glad that you’re finding something that works for you!! And Jackson is so adorable 🙂
I feel really super incredibly grateful that for all the many challenges we’ve had since our LO was born, sleep has not really been one of them (knock on wood, and we’re only at 6 weeks so I know it can still all go to shit). Fiona has always been a good sleeper at night, and she does okay during the day too. I don’t think we’ve really DONE too much to get good sleep, I think we just lucked out. At this point she usually sleeps from around 10:30-6:30 with just one wakeup to eat. Her daytime sleep was a bit all over the place because we didn’t really ever attempt to get her to nap, just let her fall asleep whenever. About a week ago I started actually trying to get her to nap on a schedule (aiming for about 1 hr nap every 3rd hour), but she doesn’t sleep a ton during the day. But the nice thing is that she sleeps fine in her bouncer (never tried to put her down in her bassinet for naps actually!) and is pretty happy between naps so we sort of just let her go.
I don’t really know much about baby sleep so I’m not sure when we’ll try to have her consolidate naps… but I think for as long as she’s pretty happy and sleeping okay we’ll probably just follow her cues.
My daughter wanted to sleep with her face down in the mattress at this age as well, and I was super freaked out about it. Let me assure you that nothing bad will happen if you just let him be. I too snuck in her room to move her head and ruined many a good nap! Baby sleep is hard. It changes so much in the first year. My daughter would only nap while held as a newborn, then only in the mamaroo, then she finally moved to the crib. Night sleep was a whole other ballgame. She is almost a year old now, and still wakes up once/night to nurse. I probably could let her cry it out, but I love the snuggles. It sounds like you are doing an awesome job of following your baby’s cues and needs.
First, I’m mildly obsessed with that picture of him sleeping on his face. Miles is primarily a side sleeper but is usually on his stomach when we get him in the morning (though not on his face). I’m very interested in nap training but can’t pull the trigger. Miles only naps well at home & usually laying on the boppy in my lap or in the mamaroo. He gets tired every 2 hours like clockwork but if we’re out and about he only sleeps about 20-30 minutes where if we’re home I get 40-90 minutes. I’m worried if I crib train him for naps I’ll never be able to get him to sleep outside of the house… He’s pretty easy at bedtime, a nap, bottle, sometimes a book or music and down he goes but I’m not sure how much or little of that to replicate for naps…ugh
These have been interesting for me to read, as I’m half-way through our first pregnancy, and sleep is a #1 concern of ours (clearly!). I was an infant nanny for a number of different families, so feel like I have at least some idea of sleep schedule/nap training as I go into this. However, I hit a sore point with my brother and SIL yesterday, as they are absolute slaves to my 15-month-old nephew’s naps at home. They refuse to let him sleep anywhere else, including the crib my parents have at their house for him. I mentioned it was a goal of mine to make sleep “happen” on the go if need be, and they told me (according to their pediatrician) that I’d basically be ruining my child’s future sleep success for the rest of his life if I did this. I rolled my eyes, but it got me thinking about sleep.
Would you consider letting Jackson sleep anywhere other than his crib now that you’ve been through this? Clearly he’s still a super little guy, but I’m wondering if you agree after this journey that it’s stupid to try and let babies sleep outside of their regularly routine and bedroom? if you were away from home, would you let him sleep in the car seat/baby carrier, or insist you came home to sleep? Thanks for any insights you might want to share:-).
-Eve
Oh goodness, I would think it would be just about impossible to never let him nap anywhere but his crib! Our big goal was to get him capable of napping in the crib, so that we weren’t constantly fussing with getting him to sleep. Now that he can do that? We’re good with him sleeping wherever – we aren’t the type to put our life on hold just because baby needs a nap. For example, we had errands to run this morning, so his first nap was in the Ergo on me (and I transitioned him out of it and let him nap on my chest for a while), and his second nap was in his carseat on the way home. He just went down for his third nap of the day, in his crib.
Now, I will say that now that he’s napping in the crib it is much harder to get him to sleep elsewhere, and he doesn’t sleep as well in other places. I don’t know how well he would do if we tried to get him to sleep in an unfamiliar crib, but I think it’s something he could definitely learn to do! But long story short, no we don’t drop everything and come home every time he needs to nap – sometimes he gets a bit cranky or doesn’t take as long of a nap, but we try to be flexible about teaching him to sleep anywhere, not just in the crib.
Thanks for your thoughtful response! I agree-most sleep at home in a controlled environment is optimal for a well-rested kiddo, but out-and-about naps happen sometimes!